Today has been… draining. Made eversomuch better by Paul’s cheese pasta, Lizza’s sausage sandwiches and Ev’s news. Squeeeeeeee! It gives me hope for my own chances next year – because really, if Ev wasn’t going to be let into Cambridge, who the hell would? Well done, Ev. I mean it.
…I miss my Pitas.
And, just because everyone else has done it and I’ve been bloody obsessing over them – the anonymous fifteen things meme. I blame Paul.
- Your hugs make me feel so loved. Sometimes I don’t know how I’d cope at school without them. And you.
- I’m amazed that you and I are friends, after starting out so badly.
- I love you, and I envy you like I envy no-one else.
- You remind me that I’m a teenage girl first, and everything else second. I love you for that.
- I can’t believe you when you say that. I mean that literally. How could I?
- I… want your hair. It has to be said.
- You’ve made me afraid to take risks.
- I had a crush on you. It seems almost shameful to admit that now.
- I’ll never forget that first conversation we had, even though such things now seem so amazingly commonplace. It was a new world.
- I know so much about you, surely, and yet it still feels like I will never know everything. I adore the way your mind works. Truth be told, I adore a lot of things about you.
- I keep wanting to talk about you to people.
- It upsets me that you can barely know me and hate me at the same time.
- You’re one of those people in my life who is absolutely essential to me. I don’t know where I’d be without you, practically and emotionally. You are wonderful.
- You should smile more often. It’s a fantastic smile.
- You are my most prized possession. You are a wedge! Of light! And happiness!
I’m never sure if I’m either far too subtle or far too unsubtle on these. Admittedly 15 is not my greatest moment of subtlety ever. But then, it is Just That Damn Cool.
Rehearsal today was a good rehearsal, if we’re being fair. We got a lot done – all of the music for Saturday looked at, so far as I can think – and I was even appreciating the music by the end. Everyone Sang, this piece commissioned by NCT for choir and orchestra together… it’s really, really beautiful. It’s set to the words of Siegfried Sassoon’s poem Everyone Sang, and it’s a really startling piece. It’s beautiful and scary and hypnotic in different places, and surprisingly catchy for something that sounds so odd on the first hearing. (All you have to do is say ‘The singing will never be done’ to someone in orchestra or choir, and they’ll get a glazed look in their eyes and wander around humming the same four notes in sequence for the next half hour. Fact.) It’s the kind of piece that improves every time you hear it. Particularly if you’re not the one playing it.
Grrrah. Today has been too confused, and I can’t think properly. Perhaps my problem is that I am thinking.
