Smiling?

“You can see that tyrants are usually really good for the poor people, and only bad for the other aristocrats. In English today, tyrant means a bad king, but that is because the aristocrats hated tyrants, and in ancient Greece only the aristocrats could write.” [Tyranny, Archaic Greece]

I’m not sure I agree with that explanation for tyrannos. It sounds too simplified.

Didn’t go to school today. Mum wants me to take the rest of the week off, but I’m going to try and refuse. I don’t want to get behind, because that just means more to do later. Besides, I miss school when I’m not there. I like the lessons, and the people, and the compulsory stress. I like the distractions.

Extra Ash Wednesday service tomorrow. Hrrm.

4-part harmony is a matter of time.

Was just serenaded down the phone by Susannah and Jen.

*amused*

• (Yep, still there.
• Want.
• Or is it? Stupid thing is, it might never have been.
• Not sure I even like you, in the plainest sense of the word. And yet.
• Hit me like I’ve never felt before,
• Hateithateithateit.
• Are you there? It’s me, Margaret.)

*has photos!*

• greek - Hippolytus revis
• greek - Hippolytus essay prep
• music - WTH exes
• lat - p145, learn adverbs

Good points of today: noGreek!, and instead spending time in the library with Lou, who appears to be set on ‘permanent squee’; the gingerbread man I got from the vending machine and ate in a Vicious Manner in front of Beka, who looked appalled and traumatised (sorry Beka); the happy lack of General Studies lessons, and instead the Penal Panel (ahh, such wit) which involved people such as a magistrate, a prison chaplain and an ex-convict answering some occasionally silly questions. Also, the lending of Lifehouse/Marillion to Chris - and by (illegal filesharing) extension probably Ed as well - and the receiving of Genesis in return. Hurrah! And, finally, being properly winked at by Nikko.

Congratulations to all those involved. Now, work. And Genesis.

*cracks whip*

Lifehouse! Because I need to get Chrispy into liking them, and possibly Ed too because then there could be learning of the guitar parts and othersuch squee. So! The only problem now is what to offer. Hanging By a Moment, clearly. Then… Take Me Away, and Somewhere In Between.

Ta-da! Sortof. Hopefully the links work.

I really, really need to get some Western tonal harmony exercises done, but… neh. I’ll do them. Eventually. You know that expression, not in the mood? Yeah. Whatever it is, I hope it gets better soon, because I dislike not feeling cheery.

Edit: (Linked by Jon.) squee!

A very, very bad time for apathy.

I just feel very… tired today. And I don’t really know what to do with myself. Going to Paul’s at 2 to practice for the Rotary comp next weekend. All I’d really like to do today is pretend there’s absolutely no work to do and go finish watching Firefly. It wouldn’t help, though. I’m not sure what would.

Would talk about recent events, but - it’s all been good, apart from… bits, and they would be bits I can do absolutely nothing about. So there you go.

But I can see you from here, I can see you so clear.

*promiscuous urges*

Switchfoot - This is Your Life

Another band I really need to force more people into liking. Possibly Chrispy, because he was suitably enthusastic about the Goo Goo Dolls. *plots* Unlike the Goo Goo Dolls, Switchfoot has managed to make one… near-perfect album. There are no songs on Beautiful Letdown that I don’t in some way appreciate, and a certain one I don’t listen to on principle because it moves me far too much. It saves the trouble of deciding which album to first lend someone.

The Goos would win in a fight, though. Partly because all of Robby Takac’s songs sound like he’s itching for them to finish so he can go beat up some roadie.

Feeling better, with ishes. Hippolytus is amusing me, anyway. I do like the part where he says that clever women are even worse than stupid ones (who are pests) because the stupid ones are saved from promiscuous urges by their lack of brains.

But I’m working on it.

So take me back to the bridge of silence, / Where you wandered, / Noisily sitting and standing on the edge, / Catching reflections in the dark-chiselled water and wanting. / And where I return to now, sometimes, / To stand and sit again, / And take in the lights, and reflect on you, / And surrender my sentences.

Need to finish the Hippolytus essay today.

First, hot chocolate.

“In some places, what happened was that one man or woman (but usually a man) got to be able to tell the others what to do, and they would do it, most of the time. Often this was because the “big man” was stronger or bigger than everyone else and could beat them up, or she might have friends who would beat everyone else up.” [Big Man Government - historyforkids.org]

That is a fantastic description. Not only is it that, it’s also probably true for the most part. Neolithic Greece can’t have been particularly sophisticated.

Matchbox Twenty - Could I Just Be You

There’s something I need to sort out. Something I need to ask. I just don’t know if I can take the answer, and I’m - torn. Very. Down the middle. Sometimes I think it doesn’t matter, sometimes I think I have to go and get it, now. I’m too scared about making it into something important.

If I write about the funeral, I’ll cry. My bedroom door’s been shut far too many times in the past few days already. I’m glad it’s over, I suppose. No I’m not. I wish…

I don’t know what to do, because right now I just want to go to bed and curl up into a little ball in the dark and stop facing things. I can’t face school tomorrow. I have work, and octette, and this hurts so much. And I don’t know what to do.

IT? boneless. definitely like an ear.

Special delivery for Eddo. Though if anyone else wants to hear the acoustic of Goo Goo Doll’s Iris - and that should be all of you - then feel free to take.

1. listening ex for music
2. …is it even worth revising for the Greek mock? (No.)
3. Hippolytus essay.
4. coursework bibliography (squeefinished)

Partly looking forward to and partly not looking forward to tomorrow. Funeral, which is going to be tough and notthinkingaboutit, but then… Dom’s drama thing at Ashby Castle (ASFDHGAJSHGF COLD?) and an opportunity to be cheered up.

…See how tomorrow’s school has become entirely irrelevant. It nearly did today, but rather than skiving off a lesson this time I instead skived off choir - or, should I say, chamber choir - or, perhaps, ‘vocal quintet accompanied by enthusiastic ex-opera-singing music teacher on piano’, and went into town with EdnEdnChrisnNhoj instead. Which involved chocolate, and Nikko insinuating things and being kicked, but little else. So, naturally, a good time was had by all.

Except - snowomgsquee! And also hail, and… mushy rain. But! Snow! I was tentatively hoping for a little more snow by Saturday so there could perhaps be sledging, as that hasn’t happened for Far Too Long and would be deeply, deeply fun. But, on the other hand, cold. It might just be for the best that I have plans to stay inside all day.

Speaking of which: Stomp cool. What I saw of it. Mmhmm.

One of the best nights of my life. Easily.

I’m finding it exceptionally hard to sum up yesterday in words that actually… contain description. Because ultimately, sahgfkjasghfjashgf doesn’t give a very good account of everything that happened.

It was… absolutely wonderful. Everything about it, beginning with the omgshininess of Symphony Hall and ending with really, really not wanting it to end when the coach got back to Ashby. It would have been special without the support we had, but - a whole coachload of people, supporting us - that’s inexpressibly special. So much love for everyone who came. Being able to look up from the stage and see familiar faces around was really something.

Another thing I’m still squeeing is how well the music went. The rehearsal beforehand had been so-so, with most pieces going fine but Sakari saying at the beginning of the Elgar, “We’re going to run this - whatever happens, I’m not stopping” and then… stopping. Quite a few times. But, even with that, it was - fine. Wonderful. Halfway through Nimrod I found myself about to cry, just because of the sheer power of the music, and I don’t think I could have been the only one. It’s the kind of moment that stays with you forever, and it makes me wonder if going into music might just be the best thing I’d ever do. Can I ever get that feeling if I do Classics?

The other high point of the evening was, naturally, the coach trip home. It was too short, far too short, and I think it’s slightly wrong that I was hoping for some kind of major traffic jam on the motorway to get it to last a few more hours. Having that many people around me who I love doesn’t happen nearly often enough.

Sam’s just come in to ask me whether I think his suit looks alright. He’s not worn a suit for… at least four years. Since he had to drop out of school. Seeing him in things that aren’t casual, tatty clothes is really, really strange. He asked me to show him how to do a tie, but I can’t remember either. Mum’s done it for him now.

1. english coursework

See how my expectations are lowering.