when it used to seem so clear

Today has been nice. Better than yesterday because I had company; texts received too late meant that I didn’t really see anyone at all except church people in the morning, so today was a good change.

Lou and I had our last Monday-lunchtime meal out at McDonald’s. And our favourite zombie till-man was serving people <3 and I worried he wasn’t going to be the one taking our order but he was, and yes. what a special moment. *nods*

Lessons were pretty good today, too. I finally got my music coursework sorted and handed in – except rough versions of all the string quartets, which I had screwed up and thrown in my bin with no small amount of vicious glee last night and which I did not know I needed to actually hand in until 9:30 this morning. Thus June got a phonecall from me at around that time going “don’t empty my bin!”. And I rifled through it when I got home. I am a classy, classy girl.

And in our final Ovid lesson we discussed Ovid as a panda, and this afternoon Lou and I did a Thucydides mock which involved the exploits of two Persian generals (I think – nothing is for certain in Thucydides mocks) called Megabyzus and Megabazus. You couldn’t make those names up. And this evening I made souffles and went for a long thoughtful walk at sunset through some fields and ended up at Chris’ and watched DW.

“Cathy was poisoned by her boyfriend, and she won’t stop breaking into his house until she finds out why.” <3333 best book review ever. Y8s rule.

The colours today. really struck me. “Nobody cares if the blue is bluer or if you have super smelling powers.” And the shadows on that tree.

I’m really glad we’re doing something about that camping trip.

so come on and face it

Hmm, so. Yesterday was very fun and interesting for various reasons. Successfully made that Amazon cake – no eggs or butter involved, which was worrying, but it’s stodgy and very chocolatey, which are good qualities in a cake.

The Nepal talk was good fun too. I still have difficulty picturing where they were and what they were doing for six months, even though I’ve now seen pictures. That is possibly strange and obtuse of me. But yes. We all had dhal baat in the cottage, too, which is rice and lentils and spice, and which you only eat with your right hand, because your left is the one that you wipe your bottom with. yep. little Becky especially loved this Nepali logic.

Then Chris and I walked all the way home, via his, which was a journey that passed pleasantly quickly… then we played some poker and watched Lost. And checked up on the progress of the Joseph program. THEY THREW OUT SEAMUS :((( which is just so wrong and awful that I don’t think I can bear to watch anymore because oh, he was my favourite. </3 and normally my favourite wins. </3 i swear his singing and gorgeous curly hair was perfect for a joseph.

Thoughts about that other thing can stay in my head until I know what they are.

this afternoon: rest of latin transl, music coursework, writing up john’s scribbly notes

edit: I have been doing sitting at my desk doing string quartets nonstop since about 2pm, and it’s now 8:45. In Sims terms: energy good, bladder good, environment good, fun moderate… comfort bad (bum hurts and neck is cricking), hygiene bad (need shower), hunger bad (need tea) and social bad (only social contact all day has been shouting ‘YA RLY’ from my room to Sam’s). But I would probably have gained a few logic and creativity points from trying to figure out what the heck Dr Bean’s scribbles say. 9/10 completed…

time slips to nothing and

concerning new albums: squee and squeeee

I’m putting homework off til tomorrow, except maybe Pollock’s translation. I’ve just walked into town to get some chocolate to make souffles with, but now I think I’m going to try amazon cake.

she had no heart so hardened

Two weeks today! It feels much longer, and I don’t know where my promise ended up, but every day since then it’s been in my heart and on my sleeve. It’s easy to lose it sometimes, but I know I’ve made changes since then, and done some things differently, and that helps me to remember.

I’ve had a really nice day today. It was school, and there was triple latin in the afternoon, but… it couldn’t have been better. Lunchtime made me happy; we were definitely what those new rules cards describe as a ‘pack’, hee. And Chris drove us home, which was weird and new (for me), yet lovely, and Stu and I had a great time at Canterbury Tales tonight (ahah, well I did, at least) both in seeing the play and in catching up a little. And I receieved a random text that I feel like I want to treasure.

It was beautiful weather. And looking back now, it felt like God was in the air with us.

each feather it fell from skin

The Decemberists – The Crane Wife, pt. 3

I really really like this song. It’s a lovely mix of happiness and regret, and set to a very beautiful fable. I also like the perverseness of putting pt 3 as first on the CD and pts 1&2 as ninth, ahah. But it stands by itself very well.

I’ve felt much better today. A bit odd in places, but no more strange-coloured vomit, so all in all, an improvement. Managed choir practice, and we were also hoping to run down to the new youth service at Holy Trin afterwards, but Lizza wasn’t free anymore and I figured it was best to not push myself, so we’ll prolly try the one in a fortnight instead. And it means Chris and I can watch House together.

edit: Thousands of Japanese have been swindled in a scam in which they were sold Australian and British sheep and told they were poodles: “One couple said they became suspicious when they took their “dog” to have its claws trimmed and were told it had hooves.”

re-edit: aaaand it’s gone

happiness feels a lot like sorrow

tmi warning:

My vomit is orange at the moment! I find this almost cool. I have no idea why, because I haven’t eaten anything orange today. But yes, this has been my evening activity, so as a result of that I’m sitting here feeling very weak and icky. The impending-vomit feeling only strikes when I walk around, so I’m hoping to not move from here until my body feels like going back to sleep.

School was quite fun. Too many frees (6), which would normally be lovely, but not so much when I was looking for a distraction from the ickyness. Lou and I skived, but only a little. And I fell asleep on my arm at lunchtime while she was out at VSU and I was trying to learn Greek vocab.

Fray have a new song. I can’t remember whether it was the new one they played at the Feeling gig or not, but it’s very beautiful and bittersweet, and sounds almost familiar. My mind at least is feeling very content tonight.

Chris and Emma <3

Staying home tomorrow. But there’s only a few weeks left now, and there are some things I need to do before the end.

to be sure I never become that way again

School was only slighty different today. I said a few more hellos, made a bit more effort. But it was a weird morning on the whole because of the random extra form period (where we had birthday cake, ahah) and then three fairly-pointless lessons and then a 1h45 Greek mock. In which I attempted to write an essay about the participation of the gods in book 6 of the Iliad, which was extremely futile, because I’ll tell you for free that the gods just don’t participate in book 6 of the Iliad. oh lord it was hideous. Who knows what mark I’ll get for it.

Then I drove Lou home. \o/ and drove to my violin lesson. \o/ and back. \o/

And then went to bed. But I’m up again now, as Susannah and her Nepal teammates are coming round for tea. Grunt grunt grunt.

something taking over me

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Porcupine Tree last night were really good. Was picked up by Chris and Richard and Nhoj at 6:30, and it was only 10 minutes after that when we had the (now obligatory) ‘TICKETS?!’ moment and turned around and drove home. But this one was Chris’s fault, so now it’s 2-1 to him. We were still in an okay position though.

They did the whole of the new album, which I hadn’t heard before, as well as a few from Deadwing and Absentia and… beyond. Blackest Eyes was especially great to hear live, cause everyone seemed to know it. It has such a good chorus. People were headbanging all over the place, but the asymmetric time signature in the riff made it rather difficult for us. Very amusing. I’d love to hear the new album now.

Today is a day for all the coursework I didn’t manage yesterday and as much Iliad/Plato revision as I can manage, as we have the dreaded mock tomorrow. Why did we let them set it for the first day back?

one of the blunders of the world

PT have a song in 7/4. My respect for them just keeps rising.

Stu, did you see the Marillion article in the Times TV magazine yesterday? If not I’ll keep it for you to have a look at, it was rather interesting.

I made a twat out of myself in church this morning. Couldn’t find my cassock, had to wear one that only reached my knees and showed off my brightly-coloured trainers (I had also forgotten to wear black shoes). Walked out of line after the communion anthem too. Faaacepalm.

Working now.

here and here and here. and here.

wiring loose inside my head

So I did manage to get in Loughborough last night. Chris J offered me a lift at the last minute, which was awesome of him, and Chris P arrived back at a still later minute, so he came too. It turned out to be a very Sylphy outing, and very enjoyable.

Film was weird. Gorgeous, though. Just weird.

Today I have been writing the essay I failed to finish yesterday, along with having a driving lesson (in Brian’s car, argh, clunky gearstick) and having a walk into town and watching last week’s DW with Christopher. Who has far less hair than he did last night. It’s quite shocking.

Also, thanks to him for something he gave me yesterday. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I plan to wear it every day for a very long time. =)

Andrea Gibson – See-Through

This is one of the most incredible poems I’ve ever read. I think I say that quite often, but this one sent shivers down my spine so I may as well say it again.