Instructions for Dancing

Monday January 5, 2009

there is a secret that we keep

Filed under: Uncategorized — by hettyweston @ 11:00 pm

Hi. I’m back in Cambridge.

I’m feeling a little fragile right now, but I have to remind myself that that’s how I feel at the beginning of each term, uprooted from nice warm family home and replanted elsewhere, in a room chillier and rather more alone. And this time I’m alone for a bit longer than normal, doing nothing but rehearsing Iolanthe for the next few days. But it’s okay. We had a meet and a sing-through this evening, where the meet parts were difficult (lol social disability) and the sing-through parts were really good. (Seriously, this is going to be an amazing show.) tomorrow we have an all-day rehearsal, doing singing and choreography for the very first scene, so maybe I’ll feel more settled then.

I’ve also moved into a larger room, which is actually amazing and is going to make such a different to the rest of this year. It’s just larger than my room of last year, I’d say, and has a much nicer layout, too: it’s almost two adjoining rooms, just connected by an archway in the middle, giving a bit of separation between work and sleep areas. It also has more storage than I know what to do with – two wardrobes, three bookshelves and a chest of drawers… The final awesome thing is that now I have floorspace, which means I could actually fit friends in here if I wanted. I still need to decorate it and make it look properly mine, but for now it is so perfect and I’m so happy. (It’s also really cold up here, gah, but right even broken radiators can marr this room’s absolute perfection.)

Anyway. I should have done some work today, but I’m exhausted and might just go to bed. Or, er, toast some crumpets, read fic and find a hot water bottle? Similar.

At some point I am going to summon some hope and optimism about Iolanthe and my related social insecurities and the other things weighing on my mind, but I’m not quite there yet. But I’m not so far either. It’s within me to deal with this. soon I’ll believe that for sure and I’ll be okay.

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