So, another week down, and the time is ticking away until the Christmas holidays. I don’t want it to be, really. I’ll be happy enough to be at home when I get there, I know, and the rest time to catch up on work will be wonderful, but I always miss Cambridge when I’m not there. I miss Matt too. So I’m not thinking about that now.
What I am thinking about is that fact that I’m going to see Sigur Ros tomorrow. I can’t quite say how thrilled I am about this; plans have come together now with trains and staying over at Ed’s and cetera, and it all seems like a very long reality away from the summer day at home when I booked the tickets.
Also funny is the thought that, this time last year, Matt and I were only just beginning. Hadn’t even begun, in fact. Last night last year, he saw me cry for the first time as I sat there thinking I’d never escape the cycles of rejection and rejecting that characterised my sixthform years. I thought there were some heartbreaks and guilt stains that I’d never be free of. But it happened, it really did, and whatever time does to us in the future, it will never take away the fact that I keep finding new capacity to say that I’m the happiest and most whole I’ve ever been. This year has been the best of my life, and I know who (plural) I owe that to.
Last night last year, my best friend also did the best, wisest, kindest thing she has ever done for me, something I only fully understood last night when Matt and I were reminiscing. So it was nice for that reason too that we had such a nice yesterday evening together, hanging out and baking stuff (hooray for New Hall student kitchens having ovens.) It was a rather lovely reminder that even as time keeps passing and things keep changing, there are some relationships that remain tested and true.
I didn’t really begin writing this with the intention of emotional ramble, but I guess I was considering a lot of things last night. On more practical levels, I have a Latin translation and a solo to learn before evensong, so it’s back to work for me. If I have time I might even have dinner.